work comes first remember! (:

A is for how much I ADORE you
R is how much I RELISH you
I is how INFATUATED I am with you
E is how much I ENJOY spending time thinking about you
L is just plain LOVE
L is how LOVABLE you are when you smile
A is the starting letter of the most beautiful person on earth (:


i just had to blog. because even though i know its forbidden, my heart tore again. it was not anyone's fault really. its mine.

i know that its hard for you. and i understand. but. yeah. it still feels empty no matter what the mind tells the heart.

and there go the tears again. i wish i wasn't THAT emotional everytime it comes to this.

because. yes i love you.

and true love withstands all hurt

its funny.

i never meant to type another post here. because i thought i had moved on. and moved on WITH YOU (:

but its funny.

its a wonder how you can still tear my heart to peices and make me feel so lonely. even if we're together.

its funny

how you can make my chest empty, as if my soul just disintegrated, without even emptying it. and no matter how sometimes i try to be understanding, its difficult.

its funny

how i'm so lost when i'm with you. i just lose all my confidence. and you break me down so easily. my thoughts go astray when i think of you. and how i wish it would be better.

its funny

that in the end. i still love you for who you are. and not who i want you to be.




because its my fault

Its really sad to lose a friend.

One that made me happy and one that I talked a lot of crap to.

One that used to ask me about RG golf (:

And one that always shot like 50m longer than me NO MATTER THE CLUB

One that always made us smile after a hard day's of work

One that didn't book me when i was late

We sang out hearts out that afternoon.

But i promise i'll never forget a friendship like yours.

Zou Long! HAVE FUN and stay cool.

i know theres something more to it.

there is no reason for you to do all the things you've done.

dammit. the only problem i cannot solve.

i feel like an idiot now.

and when people look at me, they know i've failed.

i just need to know whats going on.

help.

“In the night, whenever I want you,
All I have to do ..
Is dream.”

I’m afraid to go to sleep everynight.

Because when I go to do.

I enter a dream world.

Where I see you and I spend time with you.

And I hold you tight and never let go.

Where are fingers are intertwined,

And the whole world doesn’t matter anymore,

Because the both of us are together.

And I never want to it to end.

I always assume its real

And when I wake up,

I feel a sense of emptiness in me.

Because I know it would never happen.

Because you don’t want it to.

Which is why, I’m always afraid.

"tell me princess,
now when did you last let your heart decide"

At a point where you are left shattered,

at a point where you are on the blink of oblivion,

you tend to wonder what you've done, or rather what influenced you to do the things you did.

and you question the fundamental reason. the love you thought you felt.

and then you remember that all this while you've been living a lie.

a lie so convincing you fooled yourself.

you want to move on, but a part tells you to stay.

because being torn between 2 worlds is the only way to keep things in equilibrium.

or so they say.

because this indistinct equilibrium will keep you on your toes.

and make sure you don't fall into that one trap again.

like i did.