The Tree, The Leaf, The Wind
[Tree]
The reason I'm called tree is because I'm good at painting trees. Overtime I started to use a tree on the right hand corner as a trademark for all my watercolor paintings. So for now, just call me tree k?
I dated five girls when I was in JC.
There was one girl whom I love a lot but never dared to go after. She wasn’t really pretty, didn’t really have a good figure and didn’t have outstanding charm. She was just… plain and ordinary I guess.
But that was not the point. I liked her. I really liked her. I liked her innocence, liked her frankness, liked her intellect, liked how she looked so cute in class, liked the way she smiled and most of all, I liked her fragility. And that was all that mattered to me.
But I didn’t go after her. My best friend told me that she was too ordinary for me and that the relationship would not work out. She wasn’t the “best match” or so to speak. I was afraid too, that all the amicable feelings that we had over the years would vanish with the onset of a new relationship, and the awkwardness that would ensue.
I felt that if she was mine to be, I wouldn’t have to give up everything just for her. She would always be there and I could want her whenever.
I was wrong.
She accompanied me for three years, and as she watched me chasing after the 5 different girls, it hurt her. And I knew I made her heart ache for those last three years.
She wants to be my actress, but sadly, I’m a demanding director. She walked in on me kissing my 2nd girlfriend, and while I know her heart was torn into a million pieces. She was embarrassed, but she left dignified, even egging us on. before she fled the love scene.
The next day, her eyes were blood shot and swollen. I avoided the awkward conversation about me kissing my girlfriend then. I didn’t want to think about it. I even had the nuts to tease her for the whole day. When everyone was going home, I walked in on her crying in the empty classroom after golf practice. She didn’t see me there, but I watched the HOURS tick by as she cried and cried.
My 4th girlfriend didn’t exactly like her. A quarrel soon erupted between them, with me in the middle of the tussle. I had to side with my girl or I’d be the one getting it from the both of them. I wasn’t sure of my feelings for her then. I shouted at her. I knew I shouldn’t have but I did. She reeled in shock. All I hoped then was that my girl would be alright, and we strolled off. I forgot about her. I knew the next day she’d be alright, and we’d talk to each other again. She would not know until much later that my heart ached when she did that. She really did love me.
When I broke up with my 5th girlfriend, I decided to ask her out. After going out for a day, I told her that I had something to confess. Coincidently, and with the luck of fate, she had something to confess too.
I thought this was our lucky break, but it wasn’t meant to be. I told her of my bachelor status, and she told me she was attached. I even know the guy! He’s been after her for a while and while he never gave up, I never tried.
Their courtship was the talk of the school. And my heart ached to see her go But I had to be strong. I congratulated her still, but my heart felt empty. It was empty, hurt and numb. I was breathless, I wanted to scream, I wanted to run, I wanted to do things unimaginable. I cried real hard. And the tears felt like those she shed, when I never did recognise her presence
On graduation day, she sent me an SMS. I broke down on reading it… and I’ve regretted never telling her how much I loved her since.
“The Leaf’s timely departure from the tree was because of the strong wind. But maybe, just maybe it was because the tree never asked her to stay.”
[Leaf]
In my JC days, I used to collect leaves. Leaves never part trees unless its absolutely necessary. And it needs a lot of courage. Agree?
During those few years, I was on close terms with a friend. Yes, a boy and his name was tree. It wasn’t those mushy relationships but rather filled with more camaraderie.
I developed a feeling I should never have learnt when tree got his first girl – Jealousy. Its sour you know, the heart feels like it just bordered madness. Luckily there were together for only three months, and I was overjoyed when they broke up.
And then, his flirtatious personality got him his second girl friend. I even walked in on them kissing. Whenever he got together with another girl, the sense of longing grew deeper. And deeper. And deeper.
I know he likes me. And he knows I crave for him. But why won’t he court me? Why won’t he make the first move? Every single time he got together with a girl, my heart would disintegrate, only to regenerate again. I began to suspect it was one-sided.
Why did he treat me so well if he just wanted to be friends? I mean you can’t expect me to make the first move right.
Despite that, I still wanted to be by his side, to care for him, to accompany him and to love him with all my heart and soul. I waited for him to call every night, and waited for his nightly SMSes. I knew that no matter how busy he was, he would always make time for me and because of this I waited for him.
It was torture when he ignored me for 3 weeks after his birthday. I organized a surprise party for him too. And I gave him what he always wanted, his new soccer boots. ( Having been around him so long, I knew what he wanted) when all his girl friend got him was a kiss. He forgot to thank me. Maybe he did forget, or he was just being plain mean. Everything slowed down, just to wait for that SMS. Or that phone call, or that letter. It never came. It never did.
Oh the pain and the torture that accompanied me. The DILEMMA.
At the end of the third year, this bloke started to go after me. Everyday he would find time to talk to me and walk me home. At that point, only tree was in my heart, and yet from my outright rejection, slowly I willingly let him set foot on my heart.
He was the wind that was relentlessly trying to blow me away, far away from the tree that hurt me so.
In the end, his small footing grew bigger and he consumed my heart, and while the tree weakened, the leaf flew off to a better land. Finally I left the tree. All the tree could do was smile. HE didn’t ask me to stay. I flew and flew away. The aches disappeared.
“The Leaf’s timely departure from the tree was because of the strong wind. But maybe, just maybe it was because the tree never asked her to stay.”
[Wind]
I liked this girl leaf.
But she was so dependent on the tree. I had to be a strong gust of wind. I wanted to blow, bow her away from all the misery and all the hurt.
I saw her when I was playing soccer with leaf. She would always be there, watching tree shoot from the midfield, and would cheer with him when he scored! And whether she was along or with friends, she only concentrated on him.
When the tree cared for other leaves, you could see the jealousy in her eyes. When he looked at her however, she would become cheerful all over again. I fell in love with this innocence, just like the tree did. I fell in love with her patience, which the tree didn’t. I fell in love with her devotion, which the tree forgot.
She got into a quarrel with one of the tree’s leaf. And when the tree scolded her, she attempted to disappear. But she came to watch him play soccer again the next day. I went up to her and passed her a note. She looked surprised, but smiled and accepted the note. The next day she returned my note and I was elated.
On it “The leaf’s heart is too heavy for the wind to blow away. The leaf doesn’t want to leave the tree.
As we traded notes, it became SMSes, and then phone calls and then frequent meetings. Slowly, but steadfastly, she agreed to my presence. I knew she loved me not, but love keeps one going. Never give up on love (:
I declared my love for her no less than 5 times in the span of 4 months. And every single time, she avoided the topic. She didn’t want me. She wanted the tree.
Although I knew she wasn’t comfortable with the topic but I still bore a small ray of hope, just hopping she’d say yes. I confessed, well not confessed anymore, but professed my love for her again, for the 30th time over the phone and asked her to be mine. And while there was silence, I panicked. I asked her what she was doing and whether she was fine.
She said she was nodding her head. I couldn’t believe my ears and she screamed that she was nodding her head again. I ran to her place, never looking back and when I arrived at her door step, I rang her doorbell. There she was, calm and everything. I hugged her and never let go. A wind blew past. The last leaf from the tree downstairs fell. I felt it. She felt it.
“The Leaf’s timely departure from the tree was because of the strong wind. But maybe, just maybe it was because the tree never asked her to stay.”
I know i'm the leaf. I can feel the wind churning. But will the tree ask me to stay?
