gastric. -.- the bane of dinner

:(

i wish i could have made it a little happier for you.

i wish i could have seen you smile a little more

i planned everything and the rain had to screw it up

i just wish i could turn back time

you know sometimes you wish so much for something, and then at that point of time.. you just don't know what to do when it actually happens. for the first time, i was tongue tied, i was so stiff and i didn't do all the things that i had originally planned to do

maybe you were happy. maybe you enjoyed it.

i hope you did. because. i don't want it to end.

I JUST WANT TO DIE

i'm super...


i'll tell you why soon :)

i think the interview went great today! Dr. Ong was very funny and i felt i did relatively well for the interview. and somehow, IB seems better after all. I looked through the curriclum and definitely felt it was much better than RP.

And i looked at the list of enlisted candidates from RI last year, quite a few i know are going too. RGS too.

Now i'll just have to fill in all the frigging stacks and stacks of forms.

Zong Xi's birthday is tomorrow. and mummy and daddy probably can't make it back. sigh. its just another birthday anyway. :(

Happy Birthday Zong Xi. I wish i could make this birthdaya happier one for you.

omg. fcuk MINDEF and all their drafting policies! I shouldn't have even bothered asking them. now i'll probably get black listed or something. so going overseas s out of the question.

i was supposed to go for training today, but i skipped it to get a haircut and all the stuff you need to do before you sell yourself at an interview. i'm trying for the ACS International Baccalaureate. I somehow feel more safe with that programme, albeit what everyone is saying.

I talked to Mr Choe on the phone for about an hour plus, discussing the 2 different approaches in education and it left me not with any answers, but with more thoughts and questions.

I'm at the crossroads now. and i need help.

My sister says RJC is the best bet. Mr Choe says RJC is ok, so is ACS, but the IB is better -.-. Rui Shan says RJC is better. DUMDUM says IB is better. ACY is still doing o levels. i don't know! HELP.


and there are still 2 tickets on the table.
sitting beside the 999 little things
i'm too afraid to ask.
i'm too afraid to know.

Europe just won. that totally crapped up my day.

I haven't been to the range and didn't touch my clubs after the open, so i decided to go down on friday and today.

Friday's focus was on shortening the swing and largely redevelop the feel for the shorter irons.

Today i focused on using the shoulders to control the swing and worked with my hybrid and 3 wood. the driver wasn't satisfying.

I think we'll get the chinese papers back tomorrow.

I smell of strawberry. And now i think i understand why you asked if if i liked strawberries. everytime i see you, you smell of strawberry. i only realised that today.

to ask or not to ask.
i want you to go with me.

its official.

my perfectionistic tendencies have resurfaced.

I went through 5, five mnd you, drafts for my physics PT before passing it up :( and i still felt that were stuff that i left out.

I took like a year trying to get rid of that horrendous habit, but last night subconsciously i kept reviewing my Physics PT. It started as draft 1. then physics draft 2 -.- the final 1. then final 2. then FINAL final. I'm crazy i know.

I was looking through my sister's piano scores that she gave me 3 years back which i left under my piano. I was looking for moonlight sonata, a song my sis wants me to play with her and her cello. And i stumbled across this picture of her when she was just three years old :)



which reminds me of what my brother-in-law, weep, told me the last time we had a family dinner.

i asked him how he met pebs and how was she like then. and he laughed. his first words were: EXPENSIVE :)

they met in university. weep had an SPH scholarship and was studying law in the same faculty as my sister. they were 2 years apart of course, because of the singapore NS thing.

anyway, weep asked my sister out and they dated. of course he had to pay and my sis was EVIL. they ate at all the expensive restaurants in london and at one point, my sis had to pay too! cos weep ran out of money or something.

that was until weep decided to cook for my sis one day. after being away from singapore for so long, she couldn't resist singapore food. from then on, she decided not to eat out and that is how she never left him. i think -.-

and up till now i'm still wondering why i'm not an uncle yet.

JIE. HURRY UP

its actually flattering to hear someone likes you.

but it'd be nicer if someone you actually liked felt the same way about you too.

Singapore Airlines just announced that it was reducing airfares for tourists travelling to bangkok, after the mfa issued a travel warning for tourists entering Thailand.

While this might mean cheaper air fares and might free up some seats for some much needed sleep for some people on this 3 1/2 hour flight to bangkok, this might not be a good thing after all. This is why:



Yes you've guessed it. ITS RAINING

today, i realised how fragile life is.

mummy, daddy. come back quick.

six on a liveable girl

I had my chinese prelims today. and i think i did quite well for it.

i sort of had this gutsy feeling that for letter writing, they'll sak about the IMF world bank meetings and true to my word, they did. I decided that this time round i wasn't going to write the bao zhang bao dao, cos i knew everyone was going to do it. so i wrote the shu qing wen. the title was choices.

I wrote a love story for that one. One so real that when i met up with my chinese teacher, he asked me if that was my girlfriend. and he said the ending was very touching. coming from MY CHINESE TEACHER. that means i did quite ok :)

The main paper was relatively easy, save for the last comprehension which had quite a deep meaning and i didn't exactly have enough time to figure out what they meant by walls are a hallmark of men's existence.

The second comprehension. haha. I laughed when i first read it. The topic was about how to graciously accept gifts. I'll type it out and upload it when i get my A1 paper back and you'll see what i mean.

The back alley closed today, that means when i come home now, i have to walk one huge gigantic round. STUPID.



now what in the world, am i going to do with you?

Tech Support: Yes, ... how can I help you?

Customer: Well, after much consideration, I've decided to install Love. Can you guide me though the process?

Tech Support: Yes. I can help you. Are you ready to proceed?

Customer: Well, I'm not very technical, but I think I'm ready. What do I do first?

Tech Support: The first step is to open your Heart. Have you located your Heart?

Customer: Yes, but there are several other programs running now. Is it okay to install Love while they are running?

Tech Support: What programs are running ?

Customer: Let's see, I have Past Hurt, Low Self-Esteem, Grudge and Resentment running right now.

Tech Support: No problem, Love will gradually erase Past Hurt from your current operating system. It may remain in your permanent memory but it will no longer disrupt other programs. Love will eventually override Low Self-Esteem with a module of its own called High Self-Esteem. However, you have to completely turn off Grudge and Resentment. Those programs prevent Love from being properly installed. Can you turn those off ?

Customer: I don't know how to turn them off. Can you tell me how?

Tech Support: With pleasure. Go to your start menu and invoke Forgiveness. Do this as many times as necessary until Grudge and Resentment have been completely erased.

Customer: Okay, done! Love has started installing itself. Is that normal?

Tech Support: Yes, but remember that you have only the base program. You need to begin connecting to other Hearts in order to get the upgrades.

Customer: Oops! I have an error message already. It says, "Error - Program not run on external components." What should I do?

Tech Support: Don't worry. It means that the Love program is set up to run on Internal Hearts, but has not yet been run on your Heart. In non-technical terms, it simply means you have to Love yourself before you can Love others.

Customer: So, what should I do?

Tech Support: Pull down Self-Acceptance; then click on the following files: Forgive-Self; Realize Your Worth; and Acknowledge your Limitations
.
Customer: Okay, done.

Tech Support: Now, copy them to the "My Heart" directory. The system will overwrite any conflicting files and begin patching faulty programming. Also, you need to delete Verbose Self-Criticism from all directories and empty your Recycle Bin to make sure it is completely gone and never comes back.

Customer: Got it. Hey! My heart is filling up with new files. Smile is playing on my monitor and Peace and Contentment are copying themselves all over My Heart. Is this normal?

Tech Support: Sometimes. For others it takes awhile, but eventually everything gets it at the proper time. So Love is installed and running. One more thing before we hang up. Love is Freeware. Be sure to give it and its various modules to everyone you meet. They will in turn share it with others and return some cool modules back to you.

program LOVE has given me so much
and taken away that much too.
its still running. i think

she sounds so cute when she just awakes. like a little baby girl.

The wound smarts even more.

I decided that today i would take back the present. I was ready, or so to speak.

They say time heals all wounds. my ass.

I knew the watch would be in there. Never did i realised and thought that the sitting right next to the watch was her birthday card.

The wound bled. It belched blood

She didn't even keep the card? The emptiness, which had slowly filled over the weeks suddenly erupted again.

And to think i even scolded acy for being so rash.

Sia Bing Xi. You fool.

I'm never going to love again.

i wish i could hold your hand and never let go.

but i'll never ever know how it feels like to grab hold of those fragile delicate fingers.

there's a million things i'd do for you.

but i'll never have the chance to.

敬尊陈老师：

谢谢您的开导。

本人一定会保握这千载难逢的机会，不会让尊师失望。

此颂。

A kiss is the height of voluptuousness.

An expense of time and an expanse of spirit.

In the sweet toil of romance, when my heart quivers, anticipation rockets, but gratification deliberately kept at bay,exquisite torment builds to a succelent crescendo of passion and emotion.

The time seemed right.

To say that i loved you.

daddy left for bangkok again.

mummy is leaving tomorrow. she couldn't get a flight tomorrow morning. so at least i'll still see her.

they're getting busy all over again. i remember in primary school when we took turns to talk to mummy. or daddy. and we always started the phone call with 'when are you coming back?'.

zong xi used to cry everytime mummy and daddy left. after a while, it just got numb. and he cried no more. they started taking early morning flights, preferably before we woke up to go to school, so that we might not see them.

i used to wait up to say goodbye.

in primary school, when friends failed to sign forms or test papers, they would say that their parents returned late and could not sign it for them. i could say that my parents didn't come back today, and they probably wouldn't for the next month. but i didn't want others to know.

i used to crave my mom picking me up from school. from learning lab. from golf. sometimes i would wait an hour for her, even though it was a short trip.

when zong ye couldn't take the pressure from school, mummy started spending longer stints at home. 4 days, maybe a week. and somehow, the longer they stayed, the harder it was to say goodbye.

its a bitter irony.

mummy don't go again.

It wasn't my fault that i fell in love

you tripped me.

28804078455056830968

I decided to count after all
376 more to go
finally

My dad and i toured the lakes course today.

The greens were much much smaller, the professional tees pulled back and the fairways shaped more interestingly. I liked it.

Because it was still undergoing renovation works, all the roads weren't exactly paved yet, so where the road were still mud tracks, the buggys had difficulty going through them.

My dad's buggy got stuck on the our fourth hole. Uncle Vincent was trying to show daddy the new black tee, so he slowed down. And his buggy sunk into a mud patch. My dad got out and started walking the course. My dad's bodyguard, the course marshal and Uncle Vincent had a wet time trying to get the buggy out. Heh.. I walked with my dad.

My dad said that when we get ourselves stuck in things, we should start moving.

But what if i like getting stuck.

What if I don't want to move?

The jar's half full
I can't be bothered to count
yet.

What would life be had i never met you.

At all?

What would life be had i never done anything.

I guess i'll never know.

I cut my fingers today.
But theres still 544 more to go